The Slam Book

Memoirs of A Repentant Hooker: Episode 6

One would have thought Amaka had it for Jide and vice versa but reverse was the case. . . Amaka never hit on guys
but she never fails to appreciate the aesthetic works of God on a guy whenever she sees one. Sometimes when I’m alone, I realize how much she means to me; she’s the sister I never had.

Sitting side by side with Jide never felt so real until I remembered how it started and what it used to be back
then. . . Something in me wasn’t convenient with the fact that Jide and Sola’s girlfriend knew about the whole
molestation story. I do appreciate my private life and not only normal people get molested, hookers are molested too,
I’m not admitting to anything *donno what you think I am* but I do appreciate privacy a lot.

“Who cares for privacy? Girl, you dey dull me o. Seriously, what has happened to you?”

“I’m pregnant” I blurted out

“I’m glad but who is the father and don’t tell me it’s Sola cos na molestation you call am no be rape!”

Amaka is a fool! I can see all the gestures in her eyes and I know she’s up to no good.

“Abeg free me Amaka; there is nothing going on. I’m just having some terrible flashes of things I have seem to forgotten; that’s all and I am not pregnant cos I can already see your brain is calculating again.”

“Well, I would have to see a concrete proof that you not harboring a bastard in there. All you need is a small bottle
and we have a lot of unused, yet to expire PT kits in here, so just don’t flush down that early morning water tomorrow, get me my copy!”

“Walai you be fool!” I said throwing her a pillow.

“Bae, you’d be fine, get over yourself please, don’t allow a simple almost fatal experience tear your walls down, it’s not worth it!”

She threw her arms round me, wrapping me tightly. Amaka is really my soothing massage chair, no homo and we are straight as the road to hell.

She’s a good girlfriend and sister. . . she
held me tightly for like thirty minutes whispering soothing words in my ears, some crazy words I hit her for and some a slap. I was relieved and were laughing our hearts out until we had a loud bang at the door. . .

“You go get the door, I’m off to the bathroom!”

“Why you dey always bath like mammy water pikin like this?”

“I sweated after a very engaging fight I launched on your behalf! Hello o” she said with her eyes almost bulging out.

“I send you message? Mumu girl” I said as she already left for the bathroom.

“You welcome! And by the way, I was kidding about having a copy of your urine, I believe you sweetie” she echoed
from the bathroom!

Stupid girl! Like I was gonna give her a copy before? A copy? Is my urine a document? This girl na proper were I
tell you; full of misappropriated and twisted dictions.

“Who’s there?”

“It’s me ma.”

“You, who?”

“Eliza!”

I quickly opened the door. Somehow, I feel responsible for the girl. Somehow, I have this connection with her even though I hate her guts and her uncontrolled blabbing.

“Come in” I said, opening the door for her to enter.

“Thank you.”

She looked so decent and was properly talking to me for the first time that it felt so unreal except for the fact that her
breast packs were missing as usual.

“Wetin happen Eliza?”

“Errrm! Errm! I am so sorry for the other time.”

“It’s fine really.”

“Thank you o.” she said almost kneeling down.

“Abeg, aunty Amaka dey aus too? I go like make both of una dey together so I fit talk wetin I wan talk”

“Ow! Okay.” Now this is getting weird believe me.

“Amaka! Amaka o!”

“Yes, you called.”

She was standing right in front of me like some nollywood disappearing and appearing powers had brought her.

“You finished early.” I said murmuring hoping she didn’t hear that.

“Well, I heard you. Thanks! Life is not static, we change, so I changed for the moment. . . And who do we have here?”
she said eyeballing Eliza.

Amaka never liked Eliza, she despises her eagerness and early signs of promiscuity. Mama na prophet. The day she called to tell me Eliza was showing early signs of promiscuity, I laughed my ass out! Gosh!

“Aunty Amaka, good afternoon ma.”

“Afternoon o!”

I can’t help but laugh.

“So what can we do for you o Eliza”

“Abeg, I need your financial help. I need to pay my school fee and to acquire some O’Level exams like NECO and WAEC GCE. I’ve searched round the compound finding who I can seek help from but you are the only people that
crossed my mind. Please, help me.” she said kneeling down.

She was actually being overdramatic I think.

“Well that is a small thing, I can spare some contacts”

“Amaka!” I gave her a very sharp look that screams ‘What was that about’

“Okay, Eliza, we don’t have much but we would help you.

First, let’s start with your school fee; that’s the most pressing one.

How much is the school fee?”

“6,000 naira ma.”

“Okay, come back around 9pm. We would have something for you.”

“Thank you so much. God go bless you o.” she said taking her leave.

“And Eliza, why don’t you wear clothes for your. . .” I said pointing to her chest area.

“The only one wey I get don tear and papa no gimme money to get wetin I need.”

“Okay, what’s your size?”

She looked down without saying anything. I guess that meant she had no idea.

“Okay, wait for me here.”

Amaka was just standing, staring at us. I went in and I came out with some of the new ones I got. They are expensive though.

“This should size you I guess.” I handed it over to her.

“God bless you o!” she left.

“Amaka! What was that about? You have contacts to spare?”

“Yes na. She needed help and since she had been grooming herself for so long, I wanted to give her an expensive
opportunity to make for herself more than she needed. We never needed the money but she does.”

“Amaka! Let’s us just forget about this for now!”

“I get what you are trying to do, you feel responsible for her, you trying to redeem your soul by helping her, fine! If it works for you, you have my full support.”

“Okay. But don’t forget we helping her. At least, let’s give her 10k, she pays for her school fees and use the remaining 4k for food or something.

“Aii.” She left!

“We are helping her o Amaka!” I screamed

“And you are responsible for her!” She screamed back from the room.

Yea! That’s the part of Amaka that gets nasty. . . My phone vibrated and that’s a message and I really hope it isn’t Sola.

“hey, how are you feeling now and I           guess you feel a lot better. . . Are you free for 7pm? If yes, I would like to book for that time. Kindly get back to me. My regards to Amaka. . . Jide.”

Didn’t know I was reading it out until I heard Amaka speak!

“My regards to him too!”

“And anyways he likes you” she said with a laughter in her voice.

I lifted my head and I saw her still there!

“Oh girl! Get your nicki minaj off my sight and go dress up!”

“He likes you o, you know abi?”

“Amaka!”

“He likes you!” she said walking away and reversing back like a car!

“Amaka, na wetin na?” I picked the tv remote control to throw at her and she zoomed off.

Stupid girl!

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1 thought on “Memoirs of A Repentant Hooker: Episode 6”

  1. I love these two. . . I appreciate your writing skills. I’m worried for her; even though this is fiction, I can relate. God bless your writing skill.

    Like

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