The Slam Book

Memoirs of A Repentant Hooker: Episode 7

Going out with Jide was exactly my getaway. I needed the cool aura, the solemn oldies and the delicious sauced fried snails of the restaurant. . . Jide is indeed a man of class and I enjoyed every meal from the dessert to the main course and to every music played that I couldn’t but store the name of the restaurant in my petite medulla oblongata.

Can’t even remember the last time I went on a date or treated myself purposelessly to a great meal but it definitely would be two weeks today that I had my last ‘sexcapade’. . . well, they are both nourishing to the body, it depends on which is prioritized. In short, I had an obvious fun that has shifted my attention more to the food aspect.

Finally, Jide pulled a stop in front of my humble No. 5 home. We were both silent throughout the ride except for the part where he made a stop at KFC. A part of me was really tired that all I wanted to do was run a hot bath and sleep but the other part was willing to excitedly respond to Amaka’s impending ‘ gist me ’ long-throat and the ‘ what did you do when he did this?’ ‘what’s the unexpected that happened?’ ‘Did you guys kiss?’ and I’d so vomit in her face, God help me.

“I’m so glad you could squeeze out a time. I had a great time.” He said, finally breaking the silence.

“Well, I had a nice time too. Thanks for the dinner and the ride.”

“Anytime dear. . . And I must say you looked so delectable tonight.”

I thought he never noticed and would never compliment me! God help am, I thought to myself but seriously I be fool o! Lol.

“Thanks. You look great too.”

Then he got down, came over to my side and opened the door, ‘how gentlemanly’ and Amaka’s voice was screaming in my head ‘Don’t be deceived’ lol. . . the girl no dey ever trust guys like I was even better but she’s definitely the worst except if she really likes the guy.

“Thanks.” I said finally stepping down from the cool breeze of the AC.

“Don’t mention.”

“Let me walk you to the door and use that opportunity to say hi to Amaka that’s if she’s around.”

“She should be.”

“And this is for Amaka”

He handed me a takeaway pack and I could smell it without opening it and it was humming KFC.

“Ok. Thanks.”

I wanted to say he shouldn’t really have bothered but I have learnt overtime not to tell a guy ‘ he shouldn’t have’ after he
already did. The truth is I’m glad he did but in the bid to be courteous and all, we end up saying ‘ you really shouldn’t
have bothered’ when the bother dey sweet my belle as hell. A simple and sincere thank you says it all.

He slipped his palms into mine; I made a light and silent chuckle. It kinda felt good; mine was cold, his was warm.

“Una weldone o! You go out? Welcome”

Hehehehehehehehehehehe; this woman will not kill me. Jide sef couldn’t hide his amusement. . . Mama Seun and her uncensored gbeboruns. . . I don’t even know what she was doing there.

Most times, I tend to find her annoying and another time, hilarious . . . plus all the neighbours join together but guess that’s what you get when you live in a house with a funny plan as No. 5 and your friend refuses to answer the door bell. Abi Amaka don get company?

Before I could even look sideways to reply Mama Seun, she don vamoose and Amaka had finally opened the door. I gave her a sharp look that speaks “wa a fe ku lale yi” in Reminisce’s voice making sure she got the look.

“Hey!”

“Hello” Jide said, replying Amaka.

“You weren’t around when I came to pick her. . .”

“Yeah right. I took a walk. You guys should come in na!”

“Not to worry, I would just take my leave from here while she come in.”

“Alright then. . . Thanks for stopping by and thanks for the KFC too!”

“Longthroat. .  . And who told you it was yours?” I chipped in

“And whose would it be if not mine. Wetin I sha know be say, no be you buy am come house for me.”

“And who says I would buy something and bring home for you?” I said rolling my eyes at her with Jide enjoying our mini cartoon.

“Exactly my point! You can’t; you didn’t!”

“Whatever! Take, chop am and add am to your nicki ass!” I hit her with the takeaway pack on the chest.

“No hard feelings bae, would gladly.”

“You girls are hilarious. . .

“Girls? Hello o! We grown ass women! We are ladies.”

Amaka cuts in.

“Pardon my slip of tongue. . . would love to be on my way now ladies.”

“Well-said! Thanks for coming by. Goodnight.” Amaka said, dashing off into the room, jamming the door loudly.

The girl is a fool, I don’t know what game she’s trying to play leaving us two outside. I stood by the door balancing on the ground with my 3 inch Alexander McQueen heels that makes me a 6 ft 5”, a crop top and a jean. I love my body; there’s no other way I love to admire myself than when standing.

“Take care. Would call you tomorrow. . . Good night.”

“Good night Jide!”

I watched him enter his car, reverse and drove off till I couldn’t see his car again and I guess that meant something; something that’s not healthy for me!

* * * * * * * * * ** * *

It’s been two years since I broke contact with Jide until now. Looking back and remembering all those things made me wonder how much great and unpleasant histories we’ve made together. I fell for him and our love was stronger than Ode and Inale’s but it just couldn’t work.

I was in 300 level when we ended things. I can say Jide was the first man I was ever serious with. Guess he was just lucky. Sitting right with him in the car made me realize how much of him I have missed.

“So how is work?”

“Well, work is fine. I bless God.” He replied.

“So really, how have you been? What have you been up to?” he asked

“I have been good and I have been up to many things lately”
*like straffing my neighbour and all* (that I didn’t say)

“Hmmmmm. . . back to my question, where are you off to?”

“I’m going to Abeokuta. I have been posted there for my Youth Service. Not resuming yet, but just going to do certain things at the NYSC Secretariat and other stuffs sha.”

“Wow! Congratulations; how time flies. I’m going to Abeokuta too actually. I’m meeting an old friend.”

“Really, that means I would be riding with you throughout the journey.”

“I guess so. . . but is there a problem?”

“Not at all.”

Anyways, I just lied. I can’t believe I’d see Jide again not to talk of riding with him. No doubt we both were stealing glances at each other but am I supposed to survive the hours of flirting and checking outs? Really, this isn’t about sex, this is about something much more sensitive; rekindling an old flame.

“So have you been to Abeokuta before?” Jide asked.

“Not really but let’s just say I have. Just once anyways.”

“Okay. . . I hate to ask this but how is business? Are you still into those stuffs?” he asked with so much hesitation in his voice.

“Well, if what you mean by business is if I’m still a sex worker, well maybe I still do or maybe I still don’t but as much as I’d love to discuss that with you, I can’t. No hard feelings Jide.”

“I understand. Maybe I was out of line with that question anyways.”

“You very funny! It’s no big deal.”

Jide can like to take blame for everything. *whatever that rocks his boat jare.*

“Ok. If you say so. . . Are you in a relationship or serious relationship?”

“Classified!”

“Wow! What happened to you?”

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