Let’s talk about boys: TOASTING 101


Bonjour my readers. . . Hope we had the best of the night?

So I’ve been wondering *in Weruche Opia’s voice* whatever happened to the toasting skills of some boys of nowadays. . . I don’t wanna call them men or lemme just call them guys cos that seems to sound lots better than boys!

Some guys would just be asking jamb questions like Falz was doing to Simi in that music video/song. . . Seriously, it is as bad at times that you wish some of these guys go back to their Fathers and take some cues or write some lesson notes on ASKING OUT 101 and let their fathers approve it like seen! This is well written you know! Really, I don’t need to have a brother named Paul or stay on your street before you ask me out rightly. . . oh! Please don’t tell me you were so mesmerized by me that you didn’t know when you started saying rubbish.

So, in short, guys, ladies of nowadays are not desperate for love unlike back then when you start going to mountains and valleys to pray about guys not toasting you; gone were the days when women were filling prayer mountains; I think men does it better these days. . . All I’m saying is, at times, a lady would have liked you but your approach pisses them off like what’s up with this guy. . . Are you alright?

I’m not a pro at love, in fact, I think I suck at it but I’m not here to give lectures on how to ask a girl out, I think I’m here to highlight the types of boys sorry guys we have these days when it comes to toasting!

The Emotional Toasters – Do you know that some guys are so emotional with ‘No’ that you’d be like is this guy alright? Guys, biko nu, learn to be comfortable with No. When a girl says No, it’s allowed to try some little more but not much more! Take several seats and stop sending them messages like ‘you are too proud. . . you don’t take to correction. . .’ like is this guy alright? . . . You ask a lady out and she said No and the next thing you do is hit her inbox right up to tell her she’s proud and uncorrectable. . . Haba now! Are you the parent? This thing is not a military government o! Some guys need to stop doing this again for this new year o.

The Self-evolved Toasters – Hehehehehehe, these are my laughable favourites. . . They are the bold ones. . . You know when a guy toasts you and never stops and you don’t know what to do with him and you just look at him like I don’t have your time and then he thinks you like him but you just don’t know how to say it. . . Hahahahahaha please who is breeding these guys cos I tell you, it’s funny o most times. . . They are the ones who think you want to tell them something, the guy knows that you care about him even though you don’t like to call! Hahahahahahaha. . . These class of guys are mostly found in all these traditional churches, still in school; the ones who eyes what is bigger than them, the ones who call you theirs like you already dating them,  the ones who sends you text at will even in the house of God. . . Reminds me of a guy who sends me text inside church asking me for a selfie after service like what the heck is wrong with this guy?

The Lousy ones – Yes, you read right! These ones are popular on social media especially on Facebook. I don’t know what Facebook is turning into. Some guys will just hit you right up in your inbox, they’d start with, where are you from, how are your parents? Parents? You are a fine girl, you are talented, I could help you, I’m a performer, I’m a Director of so so troupe, I am this, I am that, I wanna take care of you! Jesus! You know they are the ones in When Love Happens that between 1500 words, he had said 1,450! Guy what’s up now, chill small. . . I didn’t ask you all of that. . .

The Timid but trying to be bold ones – These ones are probably using you to boost their self-esteem. The lady is usually the fear and reaching out to you to tell you I love you, can we date, we should date is probably a result of self-rehearsals and personal talks they’ve done for months! They are like the Tobes in When Love Happens but the difference is these ones are probably dealing with infatuations and love at first sight and whatevers! These ones are easy to scare away! One single No will send them off your back and if they  come back at all, you’d have their friends to thank for it.

The Obsessive Ones/Stalker – These ones are the real pain in the ass! The one that you wanna get a restrain order for! They wake you up in the morning with calls, texts; you know the kind of guy that will never stop calling you even though you pick the call without saying a word and it’s reading 5, 10 minutes? The kind that you block on social media and would still be sending you texts to unblock them. . . Just toaster o not ex not bf! These ones are the hardest to pull off and trust me, they could probably end up desperate and violent.

So, over the week, I discovered an obsessive stalker and trust me this one is a total package of all the types I have been mentioning since. . . In other words, it’s possible for one guy to be both timid, lousy, self-evolved, emotional and then obsessive. . . This particular dude is probably reading my blog right now, dude, stop stalking me! Ain’t got your time on my tab!

So guys, or some guys, stop scaring a lady would could have probably be into you or love you because you are going about it the wrong way! If you don’t know how to, ask for help or probably go natural, be yourself and not an headache!

See you guys tomorrow! And remember to leave your comments as I come your way tomorrow.



One thought on “Let’s talk about boys: TOASTING 101

  1. Wow! Wow! Wow! I love this article. . . will you write more of this very often pls??? You’re so right! I just happened. To meet the emotional and the lousy toasters last week. . . it was no fun really! M looking forward to read all about that stalker and I love that Movie, When Love Happens! Just watched it this yesterday Xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s